Like most of the families I work with, my children are at the centre of my world. They motivate me to be better, work smarter and challenge old practices, personal and professional.
By working with separating couples together under a joint instruction, I am definitely embracing a new way of working smarter, motivated by better outcomes for my clients and challenging them to strive for a brighter future for their children. When separating, whilst parents hold the very best of intentions to focus on the needs of their children, this can very quickly become lost and overwhelmed by the emotions flowing as a result of the pain felt from the relationship breakdown. Yet conflict between parents is one of the main causes of unhappiness in children and poor outcomes in their lives.
My Resolution Together training set out key messages for parents which are so simple and effective and are a must for all separating parents to inwardly digest. Here are my top 5:
- Children need reassurance that both parents still love them and that what is happening is not their fault.
- Children don’t want to take sides – don’t make them.
- Children need information about what is happening in their family – in ways they can understand – and without a blow-by-blow account of whose fault it is.
- Children may tell each parent what they want to hear – opposing views are not uncommon, they don’t want to hurt either of their parents.
- Children can cope with short term disruption in their lives – as long as they continue to feel loved and supported by both parents and they will cope best when they can go easily between their two homes.
Separating together, using one lawyer can undoubtedly help parents listen to the key messages, focus proactively on their children, and make better decisions for them and with them. Your children are worth challenging yourselves for.